Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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