Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize