i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
