Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
