I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She even gives head with a lisp.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
