I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just had sex on a roof
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
