I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So squirting runs in the family.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
