I would go down on you faster than GM stock
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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