There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
