i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
