Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
