My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
