thus making me awesome and them whores
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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