She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
