he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
