Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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