I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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