i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
