Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
