PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize