Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
