Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize