This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
