She is in my trunk
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
