I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
