why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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