If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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