Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
