I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
