Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
