the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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