Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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