If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
