After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
