i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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