There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
