I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize