I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
