I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
