Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
