Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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