Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
