I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Less talking, more tequila
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
