She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
