I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
