I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
