omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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