From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
