she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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