You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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