even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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