The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well I just put wine in my tea
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
