Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
