the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We talked him into tasing himself.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
