the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
