Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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