i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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