do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
