is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
