why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
