Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
