I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
